


There's no light at the end of this tunnel

by Saint_Tomas



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, F/M, Kanaya doesn't know how to feel about this, Meteorstuck, Rare Pairings, a whole lot of nic cage, good ending, nepeta being alive just bc
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-15
Updated: 2018-09-20
Packaged: 2019-07-12 09:46:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15992678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saint_Tomas/pseuds/Saint_Tomas
Summary: The story in which two very unstable teens meet each other, flip quadrants more times than the sun rises and sets, proceed to make everyone afraid of their own safety and sanity and ultimately end up in a stable relationship (mostly). A.K.A: Kanaya's not so successful love life.





	1. Chapter 1

You have to say that when you decided to sit down and play a game with three of your best friends (only friends), you didn't expect it to end like this. From escaping the end of the world to fighting several monsters with sewing needles, and to even dying and becoming a god. You definitely didn't see this going the way it did. That in itself is kid of amusing considering your title -Introduce yourself Oh how rude of you to not introduce yourself. No matter how obvious your identity is to most people that were to witness this past the fourth wall. Your name is ROSE LALONDE and you are the Seer of Light. After your disastrous journey to blow up the Green Sun you found yourself with one of your friends (and sibling apparently) landing on a meteor in a set of tacky orange pj's. The meteor in question was one that was inhabited by your troll friends that had pestered and somewhat helped during your journey through sburb. The Scratch has already been initiated and hurling yourself through paradox space is the only way you are gonna survive getting erased along with the session. All in all, could have been way worse. You have been here for three days now. Although that might not be acurate considering that there is no way of telling time in the meteor. Or, you wouldn't have if it weren't for Dave. Time player’s aparently had a good track of time. Who would have thought? During this three days you have been getting yourself personally acquainted with the troll that had been talking to you for most of your journey. Kanaya has been an absolute treat to hang out with. The other humans have been busy also getting acquainted with their alien friends outside of lengthy and sometimes silly pesterlogs. Dave was hanging out with Terezi (the blind troll who may have tried to lick you on a previous occasion) and probably drawing ironic shitty comics. Karkat (the short angry one as Dave described him to you once) has also decided to hang out with them, but most of his interactions with Dave have involved a lot of insults and

You have to say that when you decided to sit down and play a game with three of your best friends (only friends), you didn't expect it to end like this. From escaping the end of the world to fighting several monsters with sewing needles, and to even dying and becoming a god. You definitely didn't see this going the way it did. That in itself is kid of amusing considering your title

- **Introduce yourself**

Oh how rude of you to not introduce yourself. No matter how obvious your identity is to most people that were to witness this past the fourth wall. Your name is ROSE LALONDE and you are the Seer of Light. After your disastrous journey to blow up the  **Green Sun**  you found yourself with one of your friends (and sibling apparently) landing on a meteor in a set of tacky orange pj's. The meteor in question was one that was inhabited by your troll friends that had pestered and somewhat helped during your journey through sburb.  **The Scratch**  has already been initiated and hurling yourself through paradox space is the only way you are gonna survive getting erased along with the session.

All in all, could have been way worse.

You have been here for three days now. Although that might not be acurate considering that there is no way of telling time in the meteor. Or, you wouldn't have if it weren't for Dave. Time player’s aparently had a good track of time. Who would have thought? During this three days you have been getting yourself personally acquainted with the troll that had been talking to you for most of your journey. Kanaya has been an absolute treat to hang out with.

The other humans have been busy also getting acquainted with their alien friends outside of lengthy and sometimes silly pesterlogs. Dave was hanging out with Terezi (the blind troll who may have tried to lick you on a previous occasion) and probably drawing ironic shitty comics. Karkat (the short angry one as Dave described him to you once) has also decided to hang out with them, but most of his interactions with Dave have involved a lot of insults and angered shouting. Jade has been hanging out with both Dave and another troll by the name of Nepeta. They both seem to have hit it off easily in terms of friendship. The last of your friends, John Egbert, was immediately dragged by his troll pal after somehow arriving on the meteor with Jade. The troll in question is one you have yet to formally meet.

Vriska Serket.

She was a fellow Hero of Light. She was a Thief of Light to be exact. During the 72 hours you have been staying at this meteor you'd think both of you would meet atleast once. You atleast been introduced to the other trolls, but Vriska eluded you by virtue that she dragged John with her the moment he arrived. She may be attempting to avoid you, or it’s just a coincidence. That may be a good thing considering what Kanaya has told you of her and her exploits. From what you gathered she is an self-centered, arrogant, sociopath. Although you wish you could atleast study and psychoanalize her a bit. Just a bit. If she is as messed up as they say then it should be an interesting research venture.

"Thank you again for showing me around, Kanaya." you said to the jade blood beside you. She has decided to be your 'guide' of sorts. Somethings never change.

"Your welcome, but actually I'm just as new to some of the areas as you are." she said as she looked around. "The truth is that we never took the time to fully explore our current settlement on account of our perceived impending doom."

"Yeah I can see why you would have other things to focus on at the time."

The 'tour' continued with both of you talked about several different things. It was a pleseant time, a much needed brake from all the insanity from the game. Kanaya suddenly stopped talking as some voices grew near. She had a slight grimace on her face as she identified them.

"Man, that movie was aaaaaaaamazing. John you have a great taste in movies."

"Thanks. I knew you were gonna love Face Off. It’s an absolute clasic masterpiece of human cinema. Nicholas Cage is the best."

"Eeeeeeeexactly. I swear he steals all the scenes he is in."

"All of them?"

"Aaaaaaaall of them!"

This is the scene both of you stumble upon. John was walking besides the ever so elusive Serket. Vriska acentuated her sentence by dramatically flipping her hair. You know there is something kind of endearing at hearing there is someone that likes Nic Cage movies as much as John. It kind of took away the image of Vriska being some sort of master manipulator. You have a feeling that you're going to enjoy psycho-analyzing her sometime in the future. Or maybe sooner than that.

You're keeping notes.

"Oh hey. Whats up Rose" He says as he finally notices both of you. Vriska stops right next to him and looks at both of you too. Her eyes passes over Kanaya and her lips quirk upward in a slight smile. Her eyes look at you and turn into more of smirk. You could tell that she was scrutinazing you. You couldn't really fault her for it considering your own plans.

"Nothing much beside beside a casual stroll through what will be our residence for the next three years. I believe that if we are gonna stay in this very meteor for so long we might as well take full advantage of whatever space or comodity this place offers." You respond.

"Yeah. I have been going around with Vriska looking around the meteor." He said pointing to his own companion, "Though we kind of have just been dicking around watching movies. She also showed me this gigantic pile of boondollars. It was awesome."

"Heeeeeeeell yeah it was! All that loot was collected by me and me alone by the way." Vriska said while basking in her own glory.

So she had her own treasure trove. It definitley lined up with the whole pirate obsession you had heard from her.

"Something has just come to my attention just now. I have realized that we haven't been formally introduced, Vriska." You said towards the troll in question.

"Wait, you haven't?" John asked with a face that expressed his surprise. Vriska herself looked at you with a quirked eyebrow.

"Well ofcourse. I recall that the moment you arrived on the meteor she wasted no time in dragging you off." You responded.

"Well soooooooorry. I just wanted to hang out with this human dork that helped become a god. I mean who would do that right."

You have already begun to take notes from this interaction. Notes that would better help you analyze this interesting specimen (ie: Vriska). You have noted that she has a habit to act melodramatic. Maybe quick to antagonistic behaviour.

You should not call your subjects of psychological investigation "specimen". Sounds creepy and a bit evil.

"Well, It would not have hurt to maybe take some time to welcome our other alien companions" Kanaya added her two cents. She said this in a calm and matter-of-factly way.

"Uuuuughh okay Fussyfangs. I'll introduce myself." She put on a wide overly sacharine smile, "Hello there my name is Vriska Serket. I'm absolutely charmed to meet you."

You can see why Kanaya would have some difficulty with Vriska. She has a hard time understanding the concept of sarcasm. This is a trait that you have found endearing on her.

You stretch your hand to meet hers.

"My name is Rose Lalonde. Pleased to meet you."

- **Be short, shouty troll**

Youre name is KARKAT VANTAS and you are suddenly and inexplicably terrified for your life. It was a feeling of impending doom that you could not shake off of you. A feeling not unlike the one you had when Gamzee suddenly went crazy.

Wonder were that fucking clown is right now.

"Hey Karkat. What happened you suddenly fell of your seat like an idiot." Terezi said as she somehow showed concern and insulted you at the same time.

"It seems my ill beats are to sick. They are knocking trolls on there asses." Dave, being the insufferable prick he is added his two useless cents into the conversation.

"Dave, the only way your rancid beats are in anyway sick is if you refer to the fact that they make me want to projectile puke all over your shitty bespectacled face!" You can not beleive that anything produced by this cosmic cancer of a human could produce anything even resembling art.

You have seen his comics.

"Heheh. I will always find your little fits to be hilarious. Its like a little barkbeast trying to ve actually intimidating." And here comes Terezi expresing her utterly pointless opinion. Fuck. " But seriously though, what happened? You looked really alarmed for a second there."

By the end of her question, her mouth did that thing were it resembled a question mark. It was annoying (adorable).

"I don't know. I suddenly got this feeling of doom and endless despair. Like if you were in a dark scary tunnel and you want nothing but to get to the other side. Then you realize that there was no light at the end of that tunnel. What awaited you was in fact the writhing mass of tentacles, cortesy of the horror terrors. The only thing they wanted was to probe yourevery orifice with their disgusting and slimy tentacles." You wait for the reaction towards your statement of the darkness that was your collective future. They laughed.

Ofcourse they would fucking laugh. The bulge sucking assholes.

"J-jegus Karkat. How do you come with this rants? They are amazing." Terezi said while trying to contain her laughter.

Dave was holding on better than she was. He still had a shit-eating grin on his face. Or as close as he could to a shit-eating grin as you could. Fuck this asshole.

"Hey guys. What are you talking about?" Nepeta said. She apparently heard the laughter and was curious about what the fuzz was about.

"I just had a premonition toward our demise and nobody seems to fucking care." You respond

"Wait. Really! What do you mean a premonition?" She asked.

"I don't know I just have this gut feeling"

"Wow, me too! I was drawing and suddenly my shipper senses were tingling."

"Fuck this shit, I'm out" You said as you were making your way out of the room. You had enough of this idiots. Nepeta pouted at you while you made your way out (something you will never admit to finding cute).

The last thing you hear befor you leave is.

"Hey Terezi. Listen to my rap.

"Oh my Gog."

You are sorrounded by idiots.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

** >Be spider 8itch **

Woooooooow real funny there. Like you have not heard that one numerous times already. You have heard that same expression so much that it almost equals the amount of irons you have on the fire. Which is impressive considering you have all the irons on the fire. Aaaaaaaaall of them.

 

Try again asshole!!!!!!!!

 

** >Be Vriska Serket **

You are now VRISKA SERKET, otherwise known as the Thief of light. You have an obsession with anything involving pirates. One fateful day you and 11 other trolls decided to play a certain game known as Sgrub. This game helped you escape the impending doom of your home planet, Alternia. You have gone through countless trials and challenges since then. You also became a god halfway through the game.

So, that was cool.

When your group was about to beat the game and claim the ULTIMATE REWARD, you were denied of victory by an unbeatable boss that was later discovered to have been the byproduct of another game session. A lot of shit happened and then some more shit happened, which now left you in the position you are now. Hurtling through paradox space in a meteor.

You haven’t had the best of luck recently. Which is absurd considering you are supposed to have all the luck. You had a plan and everything set up to defeat the invincible super baddie and become the hero of the entire universe, but instead everything went to shit. You had decided to face Jack Noire (the invincible boss) by yourself to try and save everyone. But of course Terezi had to come and get in her way. You two had a little fight (you were totally winning) but then were suddenly distracted by the arrival of the humans Rose and Dave. Terezi had used the opportunity to catch you unawares and knocking you out. Next thing you know you wake up to John watching over you. He apparently had arrived previously thanks to Harley’s space powers or something. If there was one good thing that came from all of this is that you finally get to spend some time with the human dork you helped become a god. Since then you have spent the great majority of your time dicking around and watching movies starring the human legend known as Nicholas Cage.

Now that you think about it you have not interacted much with the other humans. Frankly, they don’t interest you that much. Well, if there is one that you have slightly acknowledge, that would be Rose Lalonde. One of the main reason is because, like you, she is a Hero of Light too. Being a Hero of Light is big deal considering you are one too, although she is not as good at it as you.

Obviously

She also gains your respect because of how far she went to give a middle finger to the game while trying to win it too. The plan went to shit but the attempt was commendable. She also has taken the attention of Kanaya for some reason. Now that you think about it, Kanaya hasn’t interacted with you much since the game started. The last time you had interacted with her was during the time you were formally introduced to Rose. She is your morail (or was your morail) but she has been giving you the cold shoulder for some time. What did you do to make this happen? It’s not like Fussyfangs hates you now right? She would never. She probably will get over it eventually. Right?

Maybe you should go talk to her. Obviously not because your worried or anything!!!!!!!!

Yeah

You make your journey towards the ‘living room’ or ‘common room’ or whatever the fuck the room is called where everyone hangs out. This place was taken up by a table and a couple bean bag chairs. There was also something called a ‘coffee maker’ which apparently made some sort of human beverage. You might try it sometime in the future. You look around trying to find Kanaya so you can clear stuff up with her. There’s not many people around apparently, which is alright by you. You find the weird black carapace creature known as ‘The Mayor’ that came in with the humans. You have actually met him before and you have to say he is actually kind of cool in your book. You find Terezi drawing some dumb bullshit in the corner with chalk. Yeaaaahh, you aren’t dealing with that shit right now. After the whole knocking you out and stopping you from being the hero you’re kind of pissed off at her. More than usual that is, you don’t even want to pester her. Whatever, you’ll mess with her some other time. The last person present is none other than Rose herself. She is sitting in the table.

Ugh, why is Kanaya making herself sparse when you are trying to look for her? Whatever, Rose probably knows where she is. She is currently reading some book about something that you probably don’t care.

“Heeeeeeeey there Lalonde.” You call out to her as you sit opposite to her. She looks slightly annoyed at someone pestering her. She looks up and recognizing the person in front of her she changes her expression to a slight smile. That is odd.

“Oh Vriska, how are you doing today. Is nice that you’re here since we really haven’t talked since we met each other day.” Rose said with a calm voice. There is something suspicious about this one.

“Hey, do you know where Kanaya is? I figure you would know since you spend so much time with her” you say briskly. Rose takes a second to ponder before coming with a response.

“Sorry Vriska, but I haven’t seen her today.” Why did that take her so long to even say!

“Auughh, of course I can’t find her when I need her.” You grumble to yourself.

“Did you require her for something important?” she asks

“No, it doesn’t matter. I can probably find her later.” You slouch on your sit with an annoyed look on your face. Rose looks at you with a raised eyebrow before taking out her husktop and started typing in it. This continues for some time with both of you saying nothing. You don’t have the drive to do anything today. Besides talking to Kanaya and hanging out with John, you don’t have any interest with interacting with the other assholes living in the meteor. They probably don’t want to even acknowledge you either.

Not like you could blame them.

“Soooooooo what are you doing?” apparently you are so bored that you have stooped to pestering one of John’s human friends. It has been just a couple of days in this stupid meteor and you are already losing your mind.

“Well before your arrival I was reading through a book that Kanaya had recommended to me.”

“Is it about rainbow drinkers?”

“It is, how did you know?”

“Ofcourse it is. Kanaya is obsessed with them. She problably has a whole bookcase dedicated towards trashy rainbow drinker novels.” Kanaya’s affinity towards rainbow drinkers has been something you have teased her for. And apparently it was so big that she ended up becoming a rainbow drinker herself. Somehow. “Hey, did humans have rainbow drinkers or what.”

“Yes we had them actually. Although they were called vampires and they had a weakness towards the sun, unlike rainbow drinkers.” Rose responded in a calm manner maintaining her slight smile. You don’t know why but you don’t like that smile. Not at all.

“Vampires? That sounds even dumber than rainbow drinkers. Do you actually like this shit. No wonder you two hang out so much, you both like reading trashy novels.” You say to her.

“They’re not trashy, you just don’t like them.” She responds in a deadpan voice seemingly unfazed by the bait laid in the statement. “…. Could I ask you something now that you are here?”

Huh. What could she want to ask you?

“What is it?” you ask.

“Kanaya has been telling me how her life was back in Alternia. Although she hasn’t said much of how Alternia was outside of what she did as her daily routine, which included killing zombies apparently.” So that’s what she wants to know. Well, no hurt in telling her.

“Well for one we didn’t stay awake during the day. Unless you’re fussyfangs that is, and coupled with the fact that she lived in the middle of the dessert made it really hard to actually visit her.” You said to her in an exasperated manner. “Atleast it got easier once I stole those rocket boots from a couple highblooded shmups during a FLARP campaign.”

You remember it fondly. Those idiots were talking shit and couldn’t back it up. Goes to show, don’t fuck with Serket. Spider mom was really happy that night.

“It sounds like you two were close back then.” she said. “Or atleast it sounds like that if you would take the time to visit her despite her location.”

“Well of course we’re close. We’ve been morails for sweeps.” Or atleast you were, she doesn’t really want to talk to you for some reason. It’s not like she had broken up with you. Officially.

“You are? Kanaya never mentioned that to me.” Rose says, face lighting up slightly with interest. Has Kanaya really never mentioned that? That is not a good sign, but then again talking to your new found alien friend about you romantic partners doesn’t sound right. Yeah that must be it.

“You know Vriska,” she opens her mouth again. “I actually have a couple inquiries about the troll’s romance quadrants. Personally I find the topic kind of interesting. Humans only ever had one form of romance.”

“Yeah, John told me that. You humans are a bunch of weirdoes. I remember joking about the fact that Strider and Vantas were waxing black for each other and he looked at me with the dumbest expression.”

“What does _waxing black_ even mean? Does it have something to do with the weird hate quadrant?” Rose asked

“ _Ding ding ding_ you are correct.” You say sarcastically. “Also, having a kissmesis is not weird, it’s amazing.” 

“It sounds like you are talking from experience.”

“Of course. Talking to me is your best bet to understanding the pitch quadrant, because I’m the only one who had a kissmesis.” You say smugly. “Karkat hasn’t been in a real relationship and his only experience are his stupid romcoms. Terezi has no experience either. Same with Kanaya and Nepeta, no experience with a kissmesis. I’m not even going to mention fucking Gamzee.”

Rose looks at you for a second and then responds. “Then, could you tell me about it. You have the most experience, or so you say, when it comes to this form of troll romance. Maybe you can explain it to me.”

Huh? Why would you do that though?

“Why would I do tha…” you start until you are suddenly interrupted.

“What are you guys talking about?!” Nepeta suddenly comes out of nowhere to butt in on your conversation. You swear, it’s like talking about either romance or shipping summons her.

“Just a little session of cultural exchange. Vriska was going to tell me about kissmesitude.” Rose seems to not be bothered at all by Leijon’s interruption.

“Really. I could help, I’m _purr_ -etty knowledgeable to this kind of stuff.” Nepeta says excitedly. You can’t help yourself and start laughing. Both Rose and Nepeta look at you in confusion.

“Hehehe that was funny.” You say after getting your laughing under control, “Leijon, your whole shipping shtick does not make you a romance expert. You never even had a kissmesis.”

“What does it matter if I have never had a _hiss_ mesis? I think the whole black quadrant is dumb.” Nepeta responds while frowning

Did she just say that?

“Oh heeeeeeeell no Leijon. It’s not stupid.” You snap back

“Yes it is.”

“No it’s not.”

“Yes it is.”

“No it’s not.”

“Yes it is.”

“No it’s not.”

“Yes it is.”

“No it’s not.”

During all this Lalonde just sat back watching. A little amused smirk on her face. You don’t know what pisses you off more: having an argument with Nepeta about the quadrants, or the fact that rose is enjoying it. Man, why don’t just bring Karkat here while you’re at it.

“What the fuck are you fuckwits going on about?!”

“Oh hey Karkitty!”

YOU WERE FUCKING KIDDING!!!!!!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: hope you enjoyed   
> ::::]  
> also if you are asking why nepeta is alive, well its because i like her

**Author's Note:**

> AN: This fanfiction was first posted in fanfiction.net so I would apreciate that you check it out in there seeing as I will problably post new chapters there more often. I also have a MHA fanfiction that I'm thinking of going back to one of this days.
> 
> https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12614957/1/Mistakes-were-made
> 
> link to other story  
> hope you enjoy


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